Well all have an internal voice which provides us with self dialogue, a running commentary of our experience of life and the world around us.
This little voice in your head is how we know we are thinking, and it also gives us a type of psychological mirror, which we use to reflect on our hour to hour, day to day experiences.
However this voice can be a troublesome little rogue, and lead us into thinking, feeling and believing things which although convincing, is simply not true.
Now I’m not for a moment going to suggest we start ignoring our self talk as that’s unnecessary.
However what I am going to suggest is that you begin to listen to the self talk a little differently.
Most people I meet who are struggling quietly with a problem, often report that there are particular comments and phrases they say to themselves which gets them down and reduces any sense of motivation.
What i would like you to consider doing is treating this kind of self talk as open questions, rather than a kind of truth or commands.
For example, if you were to experience some self talk and the following statement comes up:
“You will always struggle”
If you were to say this out loud in a neutral / natural voice, it would be easy to assume that you were challenging yourself or maybe giving yourself a telling off.
If you were to say this same statement out loud like it was actually a question, then it will give you more time to think about the answer to the question, and be able to dismiss it more easily. The resulting feelings you get from this type of self talk is created by how you interpreted it in the first place.
So my suggestion here is to begin to think of your self talk as being more like questions, not just orders or commands. The same words can give a dramatically different effect.